Public School...and paper towels

Back when I first became a speech-language pathologist, I decided to do one of my internships in a school.  My mom asked, “Why would you want to work in a school?”  And I said something to the effect of, “because it’s my favorite place to be.”  I’ve always liked school, liked learning, so it only makes sense that I would end up back in school but at the other end of the instructional continium.  Despite a short stint at an outpatient clinic, I find myself back in school.  Luckily, I still like working in a school. 

My first week back at full time hours for the first time since before my daughter was born was rough, I’ll admit it.  I like to be on top of things and I felt about three steps behind all week.  This week, I only feel about 2 steps behind and I’ve managed to work with quite a few kids, which is what I really enjoy.

Say what you will about public school and their effective or non-effective-ness (I love making up words!) there are a lot of very dedicated and hard working people there, doing the best they can with they’re given and then some.  The “then some” is the important part because they aren’t given much.  Probably every politician I’ve bothered to listen to in the last 10 years has promised to “fix” the educational system.  Yet the school nurse where I work has to ration paper towels or buy them herself.  When the school system can’t afford to buy enough paper towels, do you think it has enough money to deal with educating students properly?  It would be nice if one of those politicians out there would actually stand by his or her word and “fix” the system. 

The first thing I would do if I were one of those politicians?  Weed out the unnecessary managers who sit at desks all day looking important and sending out memos every once in a while.  Enourmous amounts of money would be gained by streamlining the educational good old boy (and girl) network.  I imagine there would be plenty of money to supply resources for the students and to give the teachers a substantial (I mean at least 20k a year) raise.

The area where this school is placed is somewhat economically depressed and was so even before the recent nationwide downturn.  Many of the kids came to school this week wearing short sleeved shirts, some of them too small for their rapidly growing middle school bodies.  Many of them effectively raise themselves while Mom and Dad (if they’re lucky) work , trying to keep bread on the table.  There are behavior problems, of course, but most of the kids are good kids and I am priviliged to work with them.  Some of them are responsible beyond their years. 

I actually had a dream last night wherein my boss called and offered to buy Christmas presents for 6 of my most needy and deserving kids.  I couldn’t pick just six…

Ana and Mama's Big Adventure...

The kids and I love adventures.  Ana and I were able to experience a new one last week.  A dear friend of ours invited us to go up to Holy Transfiguration Monastery in beautiful Western PA.  I woke up Monday morning ready to go.  Ana was of the same mind and I often repeated, “We’re going on an adventure!”

Luckily, our traveling companion seems much the same mind as I about talking while traveling.  Sometimes you have something worth saying, so you say it, but there’s no need to feel empty space with talk, particularly in a world over already crowded with communication.  Thus, the  5 hour trip up was peaceful.  Ana took some dramamine and slept most of the way.  I happily worked on a crochet project and listened to music.  Snow appeared on the ground as we began to enter more mountainous terrain.  Ana was quite thrilled!  I felt the tension of the last couple of weeks begin to ease off my shoulders.

I really wasn’t sure what to expect from a monastery experience, having never been to one and don’t have anything earth shattering to relate.  It was hard not to lay out some sort of “expectation” that I would have an earth shattering, spiritually filled time while there.  It was beautiful, but very cold and snowy.  Fortunately, the snow didn’t stick to the pavement at all, but managed to keep the right amount of coating on grass and trees so that they appeared charmingly frosted.  We could see “mountains” (those out west would call them hills) from the monastery grounds and there are quite a bit of grounds to explore.  I had hoped to take at least one long walk through the woods while there, but the weather prevented it…next time!

One of the nicest aspects of visiting the monastery was that aside from services and depending on whether or not you get “drafted” by the nuns into service, there is literally nothing to do.  I left my computer behind, and there is no TV.  Holy Transfiguration has a well equipped library, encompassing many spiritual topics, but it also has poetry and literature as well…from Robert Frost to Tolstoy.  A trip to a monastery isn’t a vacation where the temptation is to press as many experience as possible into 72 hours.  To me, it felt like an extended exhalation, much needed. 

Ana was able to spend time with one of the nuns making Christmas Cards…a few of which she has already addressed and will go out into the mail today.  We also helped in the kitchen, setting tables and washing lunch dishes.  But beyond that, I did a lot of crocheting and a lot of exhaling.  Since there really is nothing to do, the services were truly a blessing.  The monastery offers matins/hours/typica in the morning and vespers/compline in the evening.  The morning service starts at 6:30 AM.  Ana and I were never there right when it started, but usually managed the last hour to hour and a half.  The evening service is about an hour and a half.  I was surprised at how Ana took to all of it.  She never complained, but did ask once or twice if “church was almost over.”  The community at Holy Transfiguration is very welcoming and accomodating of children.  Ana was invited to stand with the nuns and read along with them if she liked.  On our last day there, she was allowed to cense the church with one of the nuns.  She even censed me…I cried.

(For any non-Orthodox, “cense” means taking incense and sort of wafting it towards an object as a sort of a blessing.  Icons, holy images, are censed, as well as people as we are all icons of God.)

The services were familiar to me, as all Orthodox services are pretty much the same, but since there is no need to rush back home and make dinner or prepare anything for the following day, one can “sink” into them, even with a seven year old sitting close by.  An hour and a half doesn’t seem like an hour and a half when you’re not worried about rushing home to accomplish 15 things before bed time.  I didn’t have any particular moments of spiritual enlightenment and I don’t think that’s what I needed.  Just being there and being able to leave all worldly cares behind for a few days was blessing enough.  I do want to try and keep some of that “leave all worldly cares behind” feeling a little as I attend services here at home.  It’s more of a challenge, of course, as the world is quite pressing all the time, but I think everyone needs that space in their life and I need to find a way to find it in mine.

Ana was quite taken with the monastery…she didn’t want to leave and wants to stay for 3 weeks next time.  Hmmm.

Blessings!

Rainbow Meme...

…found over at Serratia’s…

Your rainbow is intensely shaded white, green, and red. What is says about you: You are a passionate person. You feel strong ties to nature and your mood changes with its cycles. Those around you admire your fresh outlook and vitality. People depend on you to make them feel secure.

Kind of fun “personality quiz.”  It took me about three minutes to complete…then I’m one of those passionate people and went with my gut on every choice.  Your mileage may very, of course.

What Color is Your Rainbow

A Poem for your Sunday...

…I’m too tired and too distracted to write anything myself. This poor blog has been sadly neglected, as have my stories and poems. I hope they wait for me…

“Prayer Chain” by Tim Nolan

My mother called to tell me

about an old classmate of mine who

was dying on the parish prayer chain—

or was very sick—or destitute—

or it had not worked out—the marriage—

or the kids were all on drugs—and

all the old mothers were praying intensely

for all the pain of their children

and for life—they were praying for life—

in their quiet rooms—sipping decaf coffee—

I bet they’ve been praying for me at times—

so I’ll find my way—so I won’t rob a bank—

I’ll take them—the mystical prayers of old mothers—

it matters—all this patient and purposeful love.

The Scoop

I had an experience a few months ago at work which kind of tipped the balance for me in thinking about my future employment. A chid with his/her family came into the rehab center for a speech and language evaluation. We’ll call him/her “Tyler” since it’s a nice unisex name and I want to protect the privacy of this child.

Tyler is in the first grade and has quite a medical history, high fevers, ear infections and allergic reactions galore. Still, Tyler is obviously intelligent and quite precocious to boot. The main problem is that Tyler’s speech is about 50% unintelligible due to poorly developed articulation skills, perhaps owing to multiple ear infections or maybe the high fevers did some nerve damage that negatively affected his ability to utilize his tongue/solf palate for speech.

Tyler receives speech therapy in the school system but doesn’t know what sound is being targeted. Apparently, he has a “new” speech-language pathologist, fresh out of school. There’s nothing wrong with new speech pathologists, btw, but perhaps this one isn’t quite ready for such a tough case. Mom and Dad are obviously concerned, not only about the intelligibility of Tyler’s speech, but also that it has begun to affect school performance. For example, Tyler spells words the way he/she pronounces them, “dut” instead of “duck.” Also, Mom and Dad have noted that other kids are beginning to tease Tyler. So they decide to get him extra help. I agree. But guess who doesn’t? The insurance company.

“Why?” you might ask. It seems rather like a no- brainer, right? Well, because speech therapy isn’t medically necessary, of course. This particular case had me crying in front of my co-workers in a staff meeting. I know life isn’t fair…but it seems like it could be a little more on the “fair” side for this child.

If I were independently wealthy, I would open a clinic and charge only what people are able to pay…and if that’s nothing, so be it. Unfortunately, I’m not independently wealthy. However, I am changing jobs. I’ll still be a speech therapist, but I’m going back into the school system, which may have it’s problems, but at least I don’t have to worry about an insurance company executive deciding the efficacy of treatment for an individual.

I have been “moonlighting” since the beginning of the September, working in the school system on a contract basis for another company. This means that I don’t actually work for the school system. I work for a company that places me in the school system where there are vacancies. The salary is better than my current one, which always helps, and I’ll be able to drop off and pick up the kids from school every day. This wasn’t an easy decision. I do like where I work now. The staff is wonderful and I have had some great experiences with patients and am quite sad to leave them. Several of my current patients have asked me to go into private practice…maybe someday, when I’m independently wealthy.

Even though this is a good change, I have become a little stressed over it. All change is stressful after all. In the main, I’m also worried about my ability to handle it all. In the past I’ve worked full time, and also been a full time housewife/mom, but never both at the same time. I’ve a feeling there will soon be dust bunnies chasing each other down the steps again. I know it will all work out, but the first couple of weeks in December are likely to be a little rough for us. Prayers, good vibes and any dark chocolate you want to send my way will be greatly appreciated!

Blessings!

Wow...

…well, I wonder what’s next.  Any predictions out there in the blog world?

Polling Place...

I decided to cast my vote on my way home from my bike ride this morning since I pass right by the polling place, which also happens to be my kids’ school.  I knew I’d be 15 minutes early, but that’s not really a big deal.  When I arrived, there were already 3 people in line with one lady having been there since 6:30 AM.  By 7 AM when the polls opened, there were about 25 people in line.  After I cast my ballot, I passed quite a few more voters reporting for duty.  Perhaps the turnout this year is going to be big….