Good Gravy

Gravy and I have had many ups and downs.  Well, to be honest, it would mostly be “downs.”  Every time I make chicken and mashed potatoes, Michael’s favorite meal next to sloppy joes, he asks if there is gravy for the potatoes.  The answer is always “no” because I’ve given up on making gravy on my own.  

Last week, I decided to try making gravy from a mix for him.  Actually, Michael made it, while I was standing next to him washing dishes.  I figure he’s old enough to start learning some kitchen prowess…which reminds me I promised him I’d teach him how to make scrambled eggs.  Anyway, to say this gravy was foul would be paying it a compliment.  Mike said he liked it but it was simply unacceptable by my standards.

Tonight, I decided to try again.  Unfortunately, I have the sometime habit of trying things on the fly…totally at the last minute.  At about 4:30, with dinner due on the table at 5:00, I googled “gravy recipe” and came up with a recipe that promised:  This old fashioned brown gravy can be made with drippings from roast beef, pork, chicken, or even turkey. Always turns out wonderful.

“Sounds perfect,” I thought.  All purpose is always good, right?  And the recipe promised “wonderful.”  Can’t beat it.

So the recipe instructed me to pour off the drippings from the pan (in my case, crock pot where a whole chicken had been cooking all day), reserving two tablespoons.  Dutifully, or so I thought, I measured out two tablespoons of drippings and poured the rest into a skilled, sprinkled them with two tablespoons of flour and started heating and stirring, waiting for the mixture to “brown.”

It never “browned.”  And then, it dawned on me that I was probably supposed to use the 2 tablespoons of reserved drippings…and not the balance of what was left over.  “Old fashioned” gravy recipes obviously assume a level of gravy prowess which I just don’t possess.

At 4:40 (dinner at 5) I started over.  Two tablespoons of gravy sprinkled with two tablespoons of flour in the skillet and me watching for it to “brown.”  The clock’s ticking…it’s 4:47 and I have a lump of yellow (not brown) mush in my skillet.  Luckily, Jim left the house for dinner to run an errand and I figured I had some wiggle room with a dinner start time.  I decided to skip the browning thing and move on.

Moving on meant gradually adding one cup of milk to the (not) brown mush, whisking it with a fork to release the meaty stuff from the skillet.  I whisked with a whisk, not a fork.  and added the called for cup of water and started the “constant stirring until it thickens” stage.  It’s very hard to constantly stir when children are afoot…and injuring themselves at critical phases of gravy production, but I managed.

After 10 minutes or so, I had a very nicely thickened, white, not brown, gravy. I tried adding some drippings from my first attempt which did not change the color of my gravy.  I then resorted to (don’t cringe) food coloring.  I mean who wants white gravy when it’s supposed to be brown?

I added a few drops of green and brown liquid food coloring to the skillet thinking it would turn my gravy brown.  Nope…it was now a lovely shade of purple.  I have no idea how that happened.  So I added some blue, which just turned it a different shade of purple.  I then added yellow.  Now the gravy was green.  I kept adding colors, drip by drip until I had something that resembled brown, but still managed to be a little green.  At 5:05, I poured my greenish gravy into a brown bowl and hoped no one would notice.  

It tasted pretty good so it wasn’t a complete failure…but next time I may just leave it purple…