Still sick...still on cold meds but you're probably sick of hearing about that. So, let me tell you about some interesting stuff I've been reading. My husband and I are investigating Orthodoxy fairly heavily right now. I am currently reading a book called, The Orthodox Way by Bishop Kallistos Ware. We are also reading together a book by Peter Gillquist called Becoming Orthodox. My husband is reviewing that one as we go along and you can find his commentshere . I want to comment on a few quotes from the Kallistos book.

From the Prologue:

"One of the best known of the Desert Fathers of the fourth-century Egypt, St Sarapion the Sindonite, travelled once on pilgrimage to Rome. Here he was told of a celebrated recluse, a woman who lived always in one small room, never going out. Skeptical about her way of life--for he was himself a great wanderer--Sarapio called on her and asked: 'Why are you sitting here?' To this she replied: 'I am not sitting, I am on a journey.'

I am not sitting, I am on a journey. Every Christian may apply these words to himself of herself. To be a Christian is to be a traveller. Our situation, say the Greek Fathers, is like that of the Israelite people in the desert of Sinai: we live in tents, not houses, for spiritually we are always on the move. We are on a journey through the inward space of the heart, a journey not measured by the hours of our watch or the days of the calendar, fir it is a journey out of time into eternity." (page 7)

Wow...I felt as I read that...in the doctor's office waiting to discover if I had bronchitis...that I had breathed in the cleanest, purest, freshest of air. I had to look back centuries to find a fellow Christian who understood the yearnings of my heart. I am not sitting, I am on a journey, even as I wash the dishes, sweep the floor, kiss my children (especially when I kiss my children), love my husband, walk the dog...It only looks to the casual observer as if I am standing still. There are no walls in my heart where my faith is concerned...and I finally found someone who gets it! With all of my being I wish this woman wasn't centuries dead...the dust of her long decayed bones scattered to the four corners of the earth. I would love to sit and talk with her about her thoughts...and her journey.

And then there is this from Chapter 1:

"One day some of the brethren came to see Abba Antony, and among them was Abba Joseph. Wishing to test them, the old man mentioned a text from Scripture, and starting with the youngest, he asked them what it meant. Each explained it as best he could. But to each one the old man said, 'You have not yet found the answer.' Last of all he said to Abba Joseph, 'And what do you think the test means?' He replied, 'I do not know.' Then Abba Antony said, 'Truly, Abba Joseph has found the way, for he said: I do not know.' The Sayings of the Desert Fathers" (p11)

Ahh...you see, in the Evangelical church there must always be an answer..."A + B = Christian." But apparently here, in the Eastern minded Orthodox Church...it's OK to not have an answer for every question...and to realize that the mystery of God is part of his Greatness.

More on the mystery of God from Chapter 1:

"Abraham journeys from his familiar home into an unknown country; Moses progresses from light into darkness. And so it proves to be for each one who follows the spiritual Way. We go out from the known to the unknown, we advance from light into darkness. We do not simply proceed from the darkness of ignorance into the light of knowledge, but we go forward from the light of partial knowledge into a greater knowledge which is much more profound that it can only be described as the darkness of unknowing." (pp 13 and 14)

and finally:

"Faith is not the supposition that something might be true, but the assurance that someone is there." (p 16)

The final quote has become part of my signature in the online discussion boards I participate in. And I must say that for the first time in my spiritual walk I feel validated. So I don't completely understand God and I never will...the more I learn the less I know and that's the way it's supposed to be. It is "The Way" as my Orthodox friends call it. Thank you God...and for the first time ever in my spiritual walk I feel as if I am laying prostrate before God...recognizing that for all of my knowledge of Him I will never completely understand Him..and that is part of the whole deal. Yes it makes no sense...but I understand it completely. I feel as if I am truly breathing for the first time....fresh, clean sweet air. I always knew this intuitively...but I never spoke of it. Such things being said in evangelical circles would cause a flurry of..."she's not really following God." Phone calls and letters and "you must be crazy to think..." The westernization of Christianity took away all of the mystery and wonder...and I dare say some of it's eternal truths. More and more I'm thinking by taking these seemingly backwards steps into the Orthodox way I am really jumping forward in my spiritual walk.

And I think I'll never quite be the same again.

Breathing Deeply,

Laura